Negative Self Talk - A Symptom
by Jenny Boehs, LCSW
It is normal and healthy for people to have an internal narrator. We have a voice within that we hear throughout our lives. As children, that voice is child-like, simple, and void of judgment. It matches our developmental stages. So, a two-year-old begins to learn that they can set boundaries and practices with the word “no.” That inner voice echoes this opinion or set of feelings about various situations or demands in the environment. Most of the time, people don’t even notice that internal voice. However, a variety of environmental stressors can turn that voice into something that is critical or even self-attacking. This is a very impactful symptom on our mental health. While we are wired to analyze and evaluate things, including ourselves, we are not organically wired for self-attack or harm. In other words, what we believe to be part of us or true of ourselves, we do not reject (even if we don’t like it).
It is extremely important that we understand that negative self-talk is a symptom of impaired mental health. Within the course of my 28 years of practice, I have learned that helping people identify the underlying symptoms begins a process of separating oneself from our symptoms. Mental health can be tricky in the aspect that often the symptoms are internal, unseen to the rest of the world, and often perceived to be “normal.” This is unlike physical and other medical conditions we experience. For example, when we get the flu, we have a set of symptoms like fever, headache, and fatigue. A cold might produce symptoms like a sore throat, cough, headache, and fatigue. Those symptoms are things that most people begin to immediately identify as a problem and treat accordingly. We get OTC meds, extra rest, call our doctors and increase our fluid intake right away to help our bodies return to a state that is free of these symptoms (which is appropriate). I have never met anyone that let themselves have a sore throat for six months or even six years. I don’t hear people say things like, “Well, this is just how my broken throat is now.” In fact, most people advocate for themselves and are very upset if their medical team has not been able or willing to help them get relief from a symptom like this after even a few weeks. However, this is not how most people learn to treat their mental health.
It starts with recognizing a symptom as a symptom. Remember, we are wired to protect ourselves (survival), so what we believe to be part of us, are things we will work with and not reject. With our mental health, symptoms are things like negative thought patterns, dysregulation, or disconnection. They can be less overt or obvious at first. In fact, I see a lot of people who have observed these symptoms within themselves and turned them into personal character defects or deficits. I hear people say, “I used to be a driven person but now I’m just a lazy person.” All the while, they should have been advocating and demanding help for their symptoms from their healthcare team and system. You don’t need to know how to resolve a problem or symptom like negative self-talk, you just need to report it and advocate for your health.
If you are experiencing a negative or consistently critical self-talk, take the following steps:
Know that healthy self-talk is analytic but gathers data like a detective. Facts only.
Call your negative self-talk what it is, a symptom, a health issue
Gather data- Journal and raise your awareness of the patterns of that self-talk
Start looking at how you think about the world and other people in it. Your self-talk is directly connected to this.
Look to see if you have other symptoms that you have been tolerating.
Get help- connect with a therapist and get help so that you can return to wellness.
©Balanced LLC 2025
About the Author
Jennifer Boehs, an owner at Balanced LLC, has been a clinical social worker in the mental health field since 1995. She completed her MSW work at St. Louis University and specialized in mental health for the deaf and hard-of-hearing (via ASL). Since then, Jennifer has gained expertise in early childhood intervention, autism, parenting skills, advocacy, foster care, grief and loss, personality disorders, trauma, marital issues, depression and anxiety disorders. She especially enjoys marital work but she has experience in working with individuals and families of all ages.